Mindfulness has been one of the essential acts everyone had to manifest during 2020. We’ve gone through so much because of Covid, and it might shock us more if we don’t become mindful now. So it’s important to take care of ourselves holistically.
If you think you haven’t achieved clarity yet, this is a good episode for you to listen to. Get to know Dan Mendilow as he talks all things mindfulness.
Dan helps coaches and entrepreneurs ignite their gifts, unleash their truest selves, and create REAL magic in their lives. He shows them how to connect with their sovereign selves by erasing shame, fear, limiting beliefs, and self-sabotage–and replacing them with self-love, trust, and empowerment. His clients have called in life-altering opportunities, manifested perfect partners, replaced anxiety and depression with lasting happiness, multiplied their incomes, and felt more aligned and connected than ever. He’s been named LA’s #1 Life Coach by Yelp for 2 years, and has been featured on This American Dream on NBC, CBS, ABC, FOX, and on IHeartRadio.
Listen DreamNation Podcast.
Here’s what you missed:
No Personality Divide
- “And the more work I do on myself, the more I explore the nature of the identity of what’s in our hearts and minds and how do we really work the more those lines blur” (02:59)
- “and so there is that side of me that as much as I love people, as much as I love talking with people and getting out there and working with people…” (04:00)
- “For me, that was always a big thing of trying to figure out who I really was. Am I extroverted? Am I not?’ (05:25)
Are you born depressed?
- “Either born depressed or it kicked in so early that I don’t have a single memory before that.” (06:10)
- “The perfect storm of conditions need to happen.” (06:30)
- “Telling me like this lifetime is where I burn off a lot of those karmas where I work off a lot of family curses and a lot of these things that have stacked up either from my lineage, from past lives” (07:55)
- “this lifetime is unusually hard for me because there’s a lot of stuff that I’m working through, and there’s a lot of stuff that I need to do within myself.” (08:53)
- “It’s like the end of these things passing down from family member to family member past life, the past life. ” (09:18)
- “…be born and set yourself up with massive challenges” (09:46)
Diagnosing depression
- ” I do believe that I was, you know, that I, some part of me chose, uh, to come in and have that be one of my major challenges in this life. ” (10:36)
- “I think the first thing is to really understand what it is…depression, the way that I define it is a disconnection with your, with the truth of your inner self.” (11:45)
- “And to me now being weird is like a badge of honor. I love it. But back then it was the worst insult and it, it just ripped me apart because I was different.” (13:20)
- “…the bigger the gap between who we are and how we show up and our true self, the more into depression we get ” (17:19)
Connecting with your true selves
- “…because I tried being myself, the problem is that most of us think we’re trying to be ourselves, but we’re not what we’re actually doing is you’re trying to be whatever we are through a lens of fears, insecurities trauma responses, uh, past hurts. But most of that has been put on us by other people” (14:06)
- “And we believe that we don’t deserve to be loved or that if we act a certain way, those bad things are gonna happen, or we believe that we don’t have enough and we’ll never have enough” (14:48)
- ” When we connect in with our true selves, we connect in with that limitless self.” (15:13)
- ” We’re already worthy. We’re here. We’re not some sort of cosmic accident” (15:24)
- ” the less we are connected with that true self, the more insecure we become.” (16:09)
- “If we didn’t learn that, then there would be insecure” (16:31)
- “To think that ending things is a way out is a solution is really far out like that, that we’ve now left our true selves completely behind…Yeah, it could be environment could be people, it could be whatever, but you got to find even just an acorn of that true self in you.” (17:40)
Gaining Clarity
- “Because if we go find this mentor or this, whoever, and we tell them when we have to have vulnerability…Now that automatically shows that I got a problem” (19:30)
- “They feel like they’re in their own way. They feel like they have this mountain of potential in them that they cannot access. But what they don’t know is that that’s all on the same spectrum. That’s just a little bit of a different place in that.” (20:37)
- “That there’s a lot of discomfort in self-growth and people need to overcome the short term discomfort for that long-term beauty, that long-term abundance, that long-term happiness, fulfillment accomplishment, achievement, that joy of life and excitement…problem is We value short-term gain.” (21:37)
Shifting realities
- “They feel like completely different people because we change their perceptions and their beliefs.” (22:53)
- “So your brain filters out almost all of the information that comes into your mind. That’s how it makes sense of things” (23:27)
- “Because we hate it. When we see and experience things that don’t work with our beliefs,” (24:15)
- “So our brains do everything they can so that we can continue believing the things we believe” (24:39)
- “But when we change those beliefs, we can set up new, empowering, loving beliefs.” (25:09)
- ” Reality goes from the inside out, not the outside in” (25:57)
- “I’m going to wager that you did not, uh, come into this world with those disempowering beliefs. You saw something, heard something that made you think that.” (26:19)
- “We can be different, can feel differently. Just that is enough to start a cascade of thought that may lead you to doing the work” (27:22)
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Real safety comes from within
- “…self-sabotage is incorrect because what it means is that there could be something in you that hates you.” (30:55)
- “… when you’ve gone so far, that harm sounds like protection. We’ve entered a world of very serious issue.” (30:59)
- “And you learned that if I try that, I’m going to, I’m going to fail and that failure, or that laughter that ridicule, that whatever feels awful. So, I don’t even want to try it. ” (31:32)
- “…sometimes we even develop significance because we sometimes feel like our significance increases when the problems that we face become harder. ” (32:19)
- “And so the fear of mystery, we try to protect ourselves from the unknown. The devil we know is better than the devil we don’t. We can definitely protect ourselves away from the actual things that we tell ourselves we want most. ” (32:59)
- “That real safety is not having any dragons to slay… The real way of protecting yourself is having no devils, not the one, you know, not the one you don’t.” (32:52)
A morning routine helps
- “so I usually get up and, um, make myself a cup of coffee. I don’t hit snooze. I get up. ” (36:34)
- ” It makes me think it makes me apply myself. It makes me learn, um, helping someone is like the greatest joy in my life.” (37:49)
- “Please allow things to be easy and simple and also yet meaningful and effective. ” (38:14)
- “…just making your bed in the morning is incredible for you.” (38:29)
- “Take your time, set yourself up, helping yourself gently. Wake up physically. Emotionally, intellectually, spiritually do things that help you feel good in each one of these areas. That’s what the magical morning, you know, the five-minute morning or whatever, you know, the morning routine that everybody is about is really about…You don’t have to do all those things. You just have to find the things that help you feel even a little bit better than you did when you first woke up.” (40:12)
Ready at the right time
- ” You can’t tell someone else when they’re not ready. ” (45:53)
- “You hear something, someone tells you a hundred times, but on the hundredth time, then it clicks because it conditions are correct for you to absorb that information and do something about it. ” (46:15)
- “I would have done this, even though I needed to hear it a hundred times, if I would’ve did it on the 75th time, I would have accelerated my path on my journey. I would have, I would have probably not had as much resistance if I would have to key to it.” (47:00)
Quotes and Advice from our host and guest
- “Your life is a set of beliefs.” – Dan, (23:10)
- “…we are worthy. We are valuable. We do deserve love. We are limitless. We have this incredible potential within us, and it’s not up to someone else to tell us who we are, what we are.” – Dan, (15:36)
- It’s for us to decide that and know deep down that we have something incredible that we have a gift that we are a blessing.” – Dan, (15:51)
- “People really only change for two reasons. The other hurt enough that they have to, or they learn enough that they want to.” – Dan, (21:05)
- “Life will show you evidence that you are more than good enough” – Dan, (26:28)
- “If you learned that you’re inadequate in any kind of way, well, then you must be able to unlearn that anything you learn, you can unlearn anything.” – Dan, (27:38)
- “Knowing that no matter what, you’re safe, whether you have problems or not, whether you feel good about yourself, whether you don’t, whether you, where everything is going great, or you don’t even know what’s going on to cultivate this inner safety, because you have associated with one thing that you actually have control over, which is you.” – Dan, (34:21)
- “You are in charge of your reality. And just because you don’t know how right now, it doesn’t mean you can’t.” – Dan, (47:49)
Dan Mendilow: Mindfulness 2021
Books, Mentions, and Links: