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DreamNation Episode 182 – Andre Young: Start Your Personal Leadership Journey

Everybody has a dream; everybody has a vision they want to fulfill. Unfortunately, not everyone achieves it Have you ever wondered if you have what it takes to make your dream happen? Have you taken the steps to turn your dream into reality?

Learn from our guest speaker, Andre Young of You Evolving Now, how you can change your habits and how you can start your personal leadership journey to make your vision happen.

Andre is a coach, speaker, and author that created a movement of Positive Living, Personal Growth, Relationship Growth, Healthy Living, and Lifestyle Enhancement. Through You Evolving Now, he helps people be motivated and inspired to make an impact in every role of their lives and the lives of others.

Here’s what you missed:

Power of consistency

  • “Because a lot of the times what people show up as what I’ve found is not really who they really are because they feel like they have to paint a picture right. Of, of what society is saying that you need to look like, or you need to be.” (04:23)
  • “…whatever your dream is when you immerse yourself in it and you become consistent with it and you love it. It starts to become who you are because of the language that you’re using. And I call it personal leadership.” (04:53)
  • “Live personal leadership, whatever you’re going to be great in all of the aspects that you play. ” (05:38)
  • “You saw me you’re on stage, when you meet me off stage, when you bump into me at the grocery store, when I don’t know you’re looking, am I still the same? ” (05:53)

Get married to the dream

  • “And the problem was because I was the good kid where I was from…And then when I transferred, I went to two different high schools and I transferred from a really smart magnet school. I had a really hard time. With ADHD. I didn’t know it at that time… I remember getting four F’s, two D’s and a C coming out of 10th grade. ” (07:12)
  • “So I played semi-pro and, um, football, youngest person that I know has done it in at least that area.” (08:05)
  • “…whatever your dream is, I encourage you to marry it. And if you’re married, you know, that there’s things you love to do. And there’s things you need to do to keep it going” (08:24)
  • “And it wasn’t until my third year, my junior year, uh, that I figured out one how to study… I’ve swam too far to turn around and swim back. It’s time to finish. And like that things started to click again, what I needed to do from a personal leadership standpoint about my dream and what it was going to take to do that.” (08:58)
  • “And what takes us to another level. Of leadership of living your best life? Is it what’s the person who would receive my effort? Is it what they need?” (10:07)
  • ” You might still be on the bench getting better at what you want to get better at having a temper tantrum of look how much I do.” (10:31)
  • “…let’s get out of our own mindset. Let’s put that on ego. What do you want to be great at? What are you willing to do? Does it match the deepest need of the other person receiving it and you marry the two and watch how life takes off when you do it consistently.” (10:50)

It’s all about the language

  • “I define so many people are focused on leading others and whether it’s your kids, whether it’s a team at work, whether it’s a sports team and most people can follow what you say, because if I don’t, then there’s a consequence.” (11:34)
  • ” how we carry ourselves from a personal leadership standpoint is a lot about our language.” (12:02)
  • ” I live in my positives that I managed my negative” (12:39)
  • “Here’s a couple of when we talk about language, but if can’t try just only should deserve and happy. Those are huge bully words that not only bully us in our thinking in our life, but also our people, the people that we’re talking to.” (13:07)
  • “People come and tell me their dream. And they counted five tries that they said in their two sentences, I don’t believe you. And just like, I don’t believe you neither. Do you believe you. ” (13:41)
  • ” So that leads from my mindset to think differently, because if I’m ever in a time where I’m doubting myself or I’m wondering what is the right decision? I say, what would a great father do? I am a great father, so I have to make those…Those words that they’ll have to rewind and then write all those words down and say that is a bullying word.” (14:27)
  • “…construction talk, not only works with us, saying it to ourselves and us saying it to other people, whether it’s at your job or on your team and in your house. It’s also what you say away from them. ” (16:01)
  • ” Sometimes we put our spouses, our boyfriend or girlfriend in this negative situation where you’ve talked trash about them to anyone who wouldn’t listen at your job. And then now the company party’s here, you’re all hooked up with them and everybody’s looking at well, why are you with them? And they’re thinking negatively and you feel it. ” (16:50)
  • ” So to speak by you on what they could speak to you about and not about they know not to bring negativity, gossip. Vile stuff your way they’ll go. Believe me, they will go find somebody else to share that with you’ve now set an expectation that it’s not for you and your name doesn’t get drawn into it. So, so much of about is how we walk into a room, how we engage and attack everything with positivity, the language that we use and how we treat people, building them up in front of them and away from them all the while. Having a great expectation. Of winning, whatever that definition is. “(18:20)

Five steps out of unwise relationships

  • “I think it’s very rare that we have to cut people. However, I do believe that we must modify how we hang out with people and be willing to add other great people to our lives.” (20:03)
  • “So I call it like the five steps out of unwise relationships…you’re going to get to a point where the things that you’re doing and who you’re doing it with has become less luster for your life. ” (20:15)
  • “And we all know this when the ish hits the fan in your life, those are the guys and the woman that would be there first for you.” (20:48)
  • “Do I still value them as people and do still want them in my life? If the answer is no, then it’s easy. Cut them be done with it. If the answer is, yes, I still have feelings and I still love them. However, something needs to change.” (21:05)
  • “So I said, instead offer an idea. Hey, instead, I’m going to come down. Let’s do lunch. Let’s do lunch downtown. I want to start going to nice restaurants.” (21:43)
  • “Some people will come, some people won’t. And so whoever comes comes, you have a good time…  then you start expanding your life and saying, okay, put yourself in some different circles.” (22:36)
  • “I guarantee you, you are going to bump into someone that you come away with this feeling and it’s wow. I really like how they are.” (23:06)
  • “…but I’ve met people that we are still in my life today, and it’s not about business and selling. It’s about the connection. ” (23:28)
  • ” You got to put yourself as adults that we have to put ourselves in that environment. And then there’s going to be these sparks, maximize that” (23:59)
  • “I want to feel inspired. Motivated fun and idea filled and lucky to have spent time with someone before I meet with them while I’m spending time with them. And after I’ve met with them. And if all three don’t check that box, I was excited to go. But when I got back, I felt dirty. I didn’t feel like I liked it. Or, you know, if all three boxes are checked, we don’t hang out.” (24:32)
  • “There are people who I’ve distanced myself from and created a safer space for us to have a relationship.” (25:10)

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Be a nerd to your dream

  • “So when I first started it, I created an organization.” (27:45)
  • “So don’t. Not do it because the people won’t come believe me. They will. And then you’ll find other people that are attracted to it too. ” (28:10)
  • “Be a nerd, whatever your dream is, be a nerd about it. Don’t have anybody know more than you constantly. be learning. ” 28:55)
  • “And if somebody in that book wrote about that and the company did that, there’s millions of other companies throughout the world that are willing to do that.” (29:43)
  • “To be very honest and I, and not to be cocky here, my seven ways to love and the reason I, and the reason I share that here, I’ll give two books, the seven ways to love and the five love languages by Gary Chapman.” (30:28)
  • “…once you know you can’t unknown. And you have to ask continuously, maybe annually because things change. You change people change. So you don’t want to be loving them off of their old language. ” (31:15)
  • “Here are the seven things that make or break all relationships, even with yourself, know how to do them consistently. And these things have to be easy and common sense or else people aren’t going to do it.” (31:48)
  • “So I would really say the dream manager, I would say the five love languages by Gary Chapman and you know, seven ways to love.” (32:26)

The get great question

  • “…the concept that I would have applied is what I call the get great question. And it’s along the same path that everything that we’ve been talking about throughout this, um, is I want to be great here. What do I have to do? ” (34:04)
  • “Because we think that those in positions of leadership are true leaders and they’re not all the time. Most of the time they’re managing, they’re so busy protecting their job. They don’t know how to build their people.” (34:47)
  • ” Some people were there because whatever it is that everybody wants to be great, but most will raise their hand because it seems like the right thing to do.” (35:19)
  • “. I naively did not know that I had to train the leaders on how to answer it ” (36:07)
  • ” It’s a dagger to your motivation, because if I keep doing what I’m doing, that means I should get what I want. How many bully words that I just say in there?” (36:35)
  • “Now what I realized, why this so many people say, just keep doing what you’re doing. Number one, because they’re busy, they’re busy being busy.” (37:00)
  • “Two, uh, maybe they don’t know if you can handle their truth. Three, maybe they have no idea of a real answer or four. Maybe they just got to pee, and you caught them on their way to the bathroom” (37:24)
  • “But I really do want to know. We’ve got to affirm that it’s okay. Give them permission and permission to have time to think…We have to let them know and give them permission to really answer our question, because this is a sensitive topic.” (38:01)
  • “We asked now we’d need to be able to consume without responding. And then we apply. If it’s reasonable, doable, and fair, we’re going to do it. And we’re going to do it a little bit outside our comfort zone.” (38:31)

Replace but with but;

  • “But I think where people struggle with that is it’s the power of being vulnerable to feel like you don’t have all of the answers…And when you say like, Hey, no, what can I do better? That makes it seem like that you already have some flaws. And most people want to show up as flaw lists rather than flawed.” (39:59)
  • “We have to be prepared as leaders of our own lives. So maybe they need less… So we sometimes are willing to do more, but what happens when they need you to do less?” (40:33)
  • “…here’s how I’m going to do better. That goes against everything. But tell me more about that. I want to hear how we can make this a win-win for both of us.” (43:04)
  • “So the simplest thing for, but replace, but with a semi-colon, a slight pause…most people will say, but, and then anything after, but is blaming or bull crap and people turn off, they get defensive take out, but, and put a semi-colon a pause.” (43:23)
  • “…that could change someone’s life just by doing that one thing that is potentially your race that is potentially your job opportunity that is potentially your marriage. That is everything right there” (43:59)

A leader’s idea

  • “Can you do leadership when it’s not easy? And someone needs actually some less of you.” (42:16)
  • “…that could change someone’s life just by doing that one thing that is potentially your race that is potentially your job opportunity that is potentially your marriage. That is everything right there.” (43:59)
  • “…please accompany your problem with a suggested solution. ” (44:36)
  • “Most people are going to complain and gripe about it, and then it makes someone defensive or deflect. And it’s hard for you to get what you want. So whatever your problem is, put some invest sometime before you bring it to the person.” (44:48)
  • “We’ve done some solution and did leadership on our end coming up with an idea then in order, what do you like about it? Make somebody say something good about it first, because whatever they say is more important than true to them, then you telling them what was good about it. ” (45:10)

The one question

  • ” But when you ask them what specific one question would they ask him? That’s where you really got to get concise, because now you’re thinking, what do I admire about that person?” (47:19)
  • “And so that’s why I always like to ask it. And I think a lot of people answer the question first, but on that second part, they always have to go.” (47:38)

Create that vision

  • “And at some point on that journey, you will be the only one that believes in you and that’s going to be okay. That’s gotta be okay. And the people who don’t believe in you, it’s not always because they’re hating on you.” (49:24)
  • “And at the end of the day, it’s all about what you believe…. And when you do those vision factors consistently, when you do them consistently and you don’t stop, most people stop and they have a very noble reason why they stopped.” (49:54)
  • ” I’ve been there. You’ve been there. Everybody’s going to be there. There’s always going to be something never stop. And it’s amazing how much farther you’ll get from everything. And anyone else.” (50:27)

Quotes and Advice from our host and guest:

  • “…too many times as leaders, we over identify ourselves. By saving the world or saving or whatever cause we are. And the self-care part of any leader, listening to this as being able to take that Cape off and find solace in being Clark Kent” – Andre, (02:25)
  • “The other big part of that is it was at the side and I learned to stop being great only by my definition. Most people are not even willing to do the things that will make them great by their definition.” – Andre, (09:41)
  • “I think that the most powerful words in the English dictionary is am and will.” – Casanova (14:07)
  • “Everybody likes to be happy. However, it’s not appropriate to be happy all the time. There’s value in our other feelings and being frustrated, angry, sad, and mad.” – Andre, (15:10)
  • ” We spark the change. We don’t need them to change.” – Andre, (21:19)
  • ” Sometimes it’s not their time. You gotta know when it’s yours and be willing to do something about it instead of griping and shooting the how people need to grow up and get on board and be frustrated.”-Andre, (25:26)
  • “Because if now I’m vulnerable and you’re vulnerable, that’s the way that we’re both like, yo, it’s not so bad “ – Casanova, (27:03)
  • “you could show up how you think someone wants, but it’s normally how you want it. And if you don’t really communicate that, you could find yourself in a world of hurt. ” – Casanova, (32:46)

Books, Mentions, and Links:

Andre Young

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