DreamNation Episode 146 – Stu Massengill: How to Find Your Life’s Direction

Learning from Stuart Massengill will make you realize that nothing is really impossible, that you can be whoever you want to be, you can do whatever you put your mind into and that everything can be learned. You’ll understand skills are not fixed by birth and that being shy might actually is a result of the false stories made up in our minds. Let’s learn why.

 

Stu grew up as a shy, introverted kid. He thought he was born that way. He accepted that between the two of him and his brother, he’s the shier one and his brother is the outgoing one. But things change for him when he joined a network marketing business where he got his first deep taste of entrepreneurship. There he learned to talk to people, how to go out of his shell and to just get better with people. It felt like he developed a second identity. He traveled to ‘find himself’ for eight months, but he got diagnosed with testicular cancer. That’s when he discovered the real secret to building relationships: vulnerability.

 

He just discovered the real secret to communication, relationship-building, and self-awareness. Today, he teaches everyone that how we interact with people – and if we can do it effectively – shapes our life. In this podcast, he also shared his dream job: working with his model mentor. He now believes he found where he’s able to serve at the highest level, as a National Trainer for the #1 strategist on the planet, Tony Robbins. Discover how he was able to land his dream job, how he strives hard to qualify for it, and how you too can find your life’s direction. Be prepared to turn into the better relationship builder that you should be to accelerate your business fast, today!

 

 

Here’s What You Missed

 

  • How to have meaningful relationships
  • The power of modelling
  • What is true success
  • Can you learn anything?
  • Step by step tips to taking action

 

 

Knowledge Nuggets

 

[2:04] If you’re in business and you’re not good with people, you’re not going to be a successful at business, no matter what business you’re in.

 

[5:42] Beauty and pureness in the life in having conversations with whether it’s people you love or random strangers in a line, in a grocery store that you got to learn to come out of that shell. So you can truly experience like the fullest parts of life.

 

[8:30] I was so vulnerable with people and sharing that I would notice instantly people would open up to me and I could have the purest connection just because I was vulnerable. If you want true, genuine, real, authentic, the purest connection and relationships you can have in your life, that you have to have vulnerability.

 

[12:27] Find someone who has what you want and model them, and then reach out to them very, very persistently and see how you can add value to them.

 

[14:00] Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.

 

[15:30] By building the right connection and by being an effective communicator and networker, that you can literally open any door of opportunity.

 

[21:44] Success breeds success and failure can’t breed success. What are three things that I could take at the end of the day and go, man, I just dominated this today. And then you carry that into the next day, and that allows you to build success on success.

 

[26:28] Just because someone else has something doesn’t mean that they were born with that or everything can be learned

 

[28:10] How to take action: 1. Visualizing process which will take 3 minutes. literally imagine your head as a file cabinet. And imagined thoughts of, I can’t do this. I’m not good enough, whatever those negative thoughts, literally imagine them being pulled out of the cabinet file and being thrown away, and then imagine taking these positive, empowering beliefs, and then putting them now in your file cabinet, which is your head and just visualize that. Do over and over and you’re literally rewiring your brain. 2. A shitty plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow because tomorrow doesn’t exist. As you keep executing on this shitty action, eventually it gets better and better and better and then you’ll turn out to be phenomenal.

 

 

Important Reads and Links

 

Stu Massengill Website:                                     https://www.stumassengill.com/

Stu Massengill Podcast:                                      https://www.stumassengill.com/findingdirection

Stu Massengill Instagram:                                  https://www.instagram.com/stumassengill/

Stu Massengill Twitter:                                       https://twitter.com/stumassengill

Stu Massengill LinkedIn:                                    https://www.linkedin.com/in/stuart-massengill-5589745a/

 

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Download this episode’s transcript HERE

 

Click Here for a full transcript of this episode:

Casanova Brooks:

What’s up DreamNation. We are back again. If we have an episode that our hope you will sit down, you will take a lot of notes, cause I’m sure you will be inspired after this one and inspired to do what as you always know. Take action. And so today, without further ado, we have my man on the show. Mr. Stu, Massengill. Stu, you want to go ahead and say what’s up to DreamNation.

Stu Massengil:

Yeah, what is up DreamNation, I’m excited, honored, and just absolutely humbled to be on the show and excited for our conversation.

Casanova Brooks:

I think it’s going to be a really good one. The way that I always love to start these talks is I like to make sure that we give the proper introduction. and the way that I do that as I compare us, as thought leaders change-makers and true entrepreneurs to superheroes.

And the reason being is because we’re constantly flying around the world. We’re putting on our Cape and we’re trying to solve some of the biggest problems in the world. And so behind every Superman, we know that there’s a Clark Kent. And what I would ask you is behind the Superman that we all know as Stu Massengill tell us who is at the core that Clark Kent,

Stu Massengil:

Yeah, that’s a super good question. I’m going to go on a whim here. We’ll see if I answer this question correctly. but I think the Clark Kent behind who I am is a long story short on my background. I grew up as a shy, quiet introverted kid. felt like I was in a shell and eventually one day I got into a network marketing business that was My first deep taste of entrepreneurship, I guess you could say. And when I got in that, I was basically forced with this question of do I come out of my shell and learn to be more extroverted and get better with people because the truth is one.

If you’re in business and you’re not good with people, you’re not going to be a successful at business, no matter what business you’re in. And two, I realized if I just wanted to enjoy my life more. That I had to get good with people because they’re everywhere. Like you’re never going to get away from them.

And so I just became obsessed with this. I started, started studying everything that I could study, all the greats, Zig Ziglar, Bob Proctor, Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, like all these people. And eventually I learned to basically get over that. and so to answer who my Clark Kent would be behind Stu is in.

Building myself out of this shell and becoming more extroverted, more social. And honestly, just like more confident I created a, second identity, I guess you could call it. I had a best friend. His name was Boss. My name was Stu and we got in business together. And so I created an alter ego called Stu boss.

Stu Massengill:

And it was basically like anytime I came into this identity, I was able to do things that this shy, quiet Stu kid. Couldn’t necessarily do, but when it came to Stu boss, it was like, it was like throw anything at me. I’m ready to conquer it. So I would say, in a short answer, that’s probably who the Clark Kent is behind Stu.

Casanova Brooks:

Got it. And I think that that’s so critical because I’ve had a couple conversations like this. And I think for most people who had that shy, introverted person in them, if that’s naturally who you are, I think you creating that alter ego can often help you get out of that shell. And I think we see it a lot.

We’ve seen it with Beyonce of, of Sasha fierce. And then we’ve seen it with. Sean Carter of Jay Z. They they’re different people, but I think that that’s the way the nugget that I take away from that is sometimes you do need to put on that. I don’t want to say character outfit in, in a sense, but since we’re talking about super heroes, I think that it does make sense.

Right? Clark Kent was, he was so much more of a calm, subtle person, but then when he became Superman, he had the little curl right there. He was the pretty boy.

Different. So I think that anybody listening to this, they can hear that and they can say, okay, who is it that I want to be? Who is it that I want to become if I’m not already that person. And it’s okay to do that,

Stu Massengil:

Yeah, absolutely. And I think one thing that’s powerful and it was powerful for me as well. And this is people could go down a a deep rabbit hole here, but I realized throughout this whole process that I had experiences when I was basically younger that I had an older brother.

He was like the social one. He was outgoing. and I always created this identity around me. That I was the shier one. And when I even went deeper into that, it was that I had experiences as a young kid that when I tried to speak up, I felt like I got shut down. And so essentially I had these experiences in my life that I thought when I speak it equals pain, essentially.

And so I had to go back into those things and honestly go through some like deep visualization processes to get rid of those. but I would say, for people that are listening to this that are shy, introverted, or feel like they’re there. It, it takes a little bit of work, but you want to start going into that realm of awareness of, what were these things that caused me to think I’m quote, unquote shy or to think I’m quote unquote, introverted to think that I am in some sort of a quote unquote shell, right?

Because the truth is, these are just stories you’ve created about yourself and, and truthfully, they’re not really true. And one of the purest things that I learned throughout that transformation was there’s so much. Beauty and pureness in the life in having conversations with whether it’s people you love or random strangers in a line, in a grocery store that you got to learn to come out of that shell.

So you can truly experience like the fullest parts of life.

Casanova Brooks:

Hmm. Man, and that’s so powerful as well. I would definitely agree that it’s about the stories that we tell ourselves and some type of trauma. I never really thought about this until I watched a Jack Canfield video and we just had Jack on a, which was so fun, but I watched the.

Jack Canfield video and he talks about for anybody who’s struggling with a pain or a hesitation or a fear obstacle right now, you can always tie that back to your point to some type of a trauma that you dealt with between the ages. Most of the time of three and 12 years old. And, and, but you have to constantly ask yourself why.

And I think that so many people they’re afraid of the answer because when you keep asking, why, why, why, why? if you say, okay, I want a new car. why? because I’ve never had, and keep going back. I think that then you’re going to show yourself to be too vulnerable. Was that something that in the beginning you think was a struggle for you of expressing vulnerability?

Or was it just, you didn’t know how to?

Stu Massengil:

I think, yes, I was scared to be vulnerable, I think. Absolutely. and I had an experience in life that taught me vulnerability. They say if you ask God for something he’ll, he’ll. Teach it to you in a lesson. It’s not just going to give you the answer.

And so I went through some experiences in my life where I had, I was in a business that essentially the base of it was building relationships with people so that you could introduce them to your business. And it wasn’t a totally authentic relationship that you were building. There was a little bit of behind the scene, intention, That you weren’t speaking about. And so eventually when I got out of that business, I struggled to build. Relationships with people, right? I like truthfully forgot how to have a real friend. It was honestly just weird. And so I went through this whole thing of man, I need to learn. How to have like friendships again.

And so I took the extreme route. I was like, all right, I’m going to go travel for eight months. I was like, I’m going to go find myself when I travel sort of thing. ended up going to Bali for three weeks. Then I was going to be in New Zealand for seven months and long story short, two days into that trip got diagnosed with testicular cancer and basically went into this whole rabbit hole.

And I know you said you’ve went through cancer yourself, so you’re familiar. but I went through this whole realization of. I was trying to create friendships. And once I got testicular cancer, like just by sharing that in itself, it’s that’s the closest part of my manhood. It’s like testicular cancer.

And so now when I would get into conversations with people and bring that up, because I was so vulnerable with people and sharing that I would notice instantly people would open up to me and I could have the purest connection just because I was vulnerable. And it honestly. To tie this all together.

It took me down this massive path of realizing that if you want true, genuine, real, authentic, the purest connection and relationships you can have in your life, that you have to have vulnerability. And if you’re not vulnerable, it’s, you’re not, you’re not going to get to the depth which truly creates the joy that you can have from a relationship.

Casanova Brooks:

Yeah, I think that that’s so true as well. vulnerability and authenticity is one in the same, but people look at it as authenticity is like the strong muscle and vulnerable it’s like the weak muscle. But they’re really one in the same. And they build up who you are as a character. I want to go back to what you said to, I truly had to learn how to build relationships again, and that’s something that I tell people all the time.

The only reason why I’m here is because of the relationships that are built in life. I’ve been very fortunate and blessed, and being exposed to so many different things. Talk to me about, for someone right now that has now won it, at least. Consciously they’ve made a decision that they want to pivot and they want to start their own brand, start their own business.

And they say, listen, I need to go get customers. I need to build a team, but I don’t know how to build relationships with people. What is the first step that you think, or what is a couple of key steps that they need to do to start building those relationships? How did you do it?

Stu Massengil:

Yeah, so I would say. The first thing you want to look at, if you’re trying to build a business or you’re trying to pivot is first and foremost, you want to adopt this concept of modeling where you want to find someone who has what you want.

And obviously there’s going to be probably more than one person that has what you want. So you want to do your research into who has what you want. And then you want to basically go out and start forming relationships with these people. Now, the way that you do it is number one, you need to be extremely, extremely persistent, right?

Because the truth is if you reach out to someone, whether it’s through Instagram, email, social media, Whatever it be. However, you can send some.

Casanova Brooks:

So someone else is wondering, you’re saying modeling in the form of mentorship, like finding a coach or a mentor who has the life that you want to live, and then you model what they’re doing.

Not like modeling. Cause when you said who, who has what you want, it could be somebody saying, a customer has what I want in terms of money.

Stu Massengil:

Yes. Totally. Yes. So you’re absolutely right. Modeling in the sense of someone that has the business that you want to build. They’ve done it, right?

They’ve they’ve, they’ve gotten it down, Find who that person is. And if you can get in contact with them, Then you can start to model them and see what they’ve done and you compress decades into years. And the way with that, number one, like I was saying, being persistent. So following up with them and reaching out to them multiple times.

Now, one of the biggest things you want to do in this process is find some sort of a way that you can add value to them. Because if you just reach out and you go, maybe their name’s Chris and they own this business, and it’s the exact type of business you want to own. They’ve figured it out. You don’t want to just reach out to him and go, Hey Chris, could you sit down with me and give me 15 minutes of your time and tell me how you’ve done, what you’ve done.

There’s not anything in that for Chris. You want to realize they’re, they’re tapping into this radio station. Some people say it’s called W I F M what’s in it for me. So you want to go to them and find, and study them and see, all right, are they in this type of business? What ways could you add value to them?

And then just reach out. It could be you volunteer for them for four months for free. It could be, you realize their presence on social media isn’t as big. So you’re going to help them with that for four months. It could be, maybe they’re not, they need more videography. So you do some work with that, right?

It’s like some way you want to find, to add value to them. And then from the law of reciprocity, By you adding value to them. They’re innately going to want to add value back to you. So I would say that’s, we could go down a large rabbit hole with that as well, but I would say two of the biggest things, or find someone who has what you want and model them, and then reach out to them very, very persistently and see how you can add value to them.

Casanova Brooks:

Yeah, I think that that’s spot on a lot of people struggle with this of knowing what they want, but you just have to look at, I think part of the problem is we never really sit down because we want to run so fast and we want this success right now that we never really sit down and write down what is the reason why I want.

This right. What is the reason why I want this? And then when we look at it, I think that it becomes a holistic picture. okay, I want a good business. I want a good family. I want all of these things, but why? And then to say, who do I want it from? For you sounds like that was Tony Robbins, which I definitely want to get into.

but then it really, it helps to know the background as well. So when you approach anyone like a Tony or whoever, that’s listening to watching this, whoever your mentor is now, when you bring to the table, Hey, here’s the reason why I want you to mentor me is because you’ve done this and here’s the path that I’m on.

You’ve done this and here’s the path that I’m on and they’re going to respect you so much more. Would you agree?

Stu Massengil:

Yeah, totally. And one of the things Tony does teach and we’ll get there eventually, but he teaches there’s the science of success. And then there’s something called the art of fulfillment. And if you’re listening to this, one of the most profound things I’ve ever learned from Tony over the last eight years, I’ve studied him is something Tony teaches that is success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.

Hmm, Success without fulfillment, you could be the most successful person. You could have all the money. You can have all the accolades, but if you are not fulfilled, it’s, it’s the ultimate failure. And so in the, in the art of fulfillment, there’s two parts two human needs and they are growth and then contribution, right?

So to be fulfilled, we need to grow. And then we need, because when we grow, we now have something to contribute. So when you are getting mentored by someone, what you want to understand is that by them contributing to you, you’re creating fulfillment in their life. So sometimes people go, I-could have this person mentor me, but what am I doing for them?

you’re creating fulfillment in their life just by having them mentor you, because now they get to contribute.

Casanova Brooks:

You’ve been able to become a national trainer and speaker for Tony Robbins.

Talk to me about how did that modeling go and how were you able to even, become a part of his team because it’s something that thousands upon thousands of people would love to do.

Stu Massengil:

Yeah. So I am. A massive believer that by building the right connection and by being an effective communicator and networker, that you can literally open any door of opportunity.

It’s something before I worked with Tony has to do seminars and teach people these practices and how they could do this. and so I basically just applied those same things to my life. And so what I did really the process to start working with Tony is I basically. I figured I could either stay full entrepreneurship or I could model someone.

That was a debate for me. I was like, do I just do my thing and like fully invest in being an entrepreneur? Or do I find someone who’s the greatest, I called Tony the goat the greatest of all time. And do I get close to them? Work for them? Model them. Figure out how they’ve done, what they’ve done.

And then eventually I just go do my own thing, but now I’ve been able to model someone. So my process will be quicker. And so what I did is I basically looked at all right, I want to work for Tony because he’s the best. Now I went through this process of who do I know that might either work for the company or that might know someone that knows someone in the company.

And so I basically made this list. I went through like Facebook, LinkedIn looked at who, who are people that I could know that could maybe get me in touch with someone at this company. And long story short, I knew someone that knew someone in the company and I had done my homework. I had gone on Tony’s website and found out what positions were available.

And so then when I got into the conversation with that person, I was just simply Hey, These are the positions that I’m looking that I’m interested in. is there any way you could introduce me to the hiring manager and long story short? like I’m, I’m, I’m a person of faith. And so it was pretty crazy.

I was actually, at church one day and the pastor, he was like, all right, who here has, who here’ss like looking for work or like once this dream incredible job. and I was looking for work, but I. Didn’t really want to stand. I was just like, Oh, I’m not going to like, stand, I’m going to do my own thing.

And eventually he goes through painting this picture that like, this is like the best job you’re ever going to get. It’s going to be incredible. It’s what you’re supposed to do. And eventually he like gets me to stand. and then the next day, literally the person I was talking to goes, Oh, the position you wanted, I don’t, I can’t get in contact with that person, but this other person.

Who’s the manager of basically being a national speaker for Tony Robbins. I actually just connected with him yesterday and I was telling him about you. And I think there’s an opportunity for our conversation here. And it was like, and this, this role, it was going to be traveling 340 days a year, like living on the road, Fully just diving into this head first, like putting entrepreneurship on the back burner, living as a road warrior with Tony Robbins basically. And I just took it as a sign that this is what I was supposed to do. and so that’s basically how I got in touch with the manager and then went through the whole hiring process.

and now I’ve been working with Tony fo a bit. And it’s honestly, it’s been, it’s been unbelievable. Tony had. An insane impact on my life. And so just to be able to work with him and introduce people to his work, has been profound. And then obviously with COVID to watch how he’s shifting and moved throughout this pandemic, that in itself has been, a master’s degree in business.

Casanova Brooks:

Yeah. Now, so do you have to still, are you digital nomad in the life, obviously with COVID you can’t travel as much.

Stu Massengil:

Yeah. So we’re digital nomad now. So we’re not traveling anymore. So it’s definitely an interesting shift for us.

Casanova Brooks:

What was the, was the, how many times did you met Tony before you applied?

Cause a lot of people feel like you’ve had, he’s had and. Impact on their lives. But had you ever met him before? You just saw it as that would be my dream job. I never met him, but I’m going to meet him in I’m going to work.

Stu Massengil:

Yeah. So I’d been to, I believe four of his events before I ever wanted to work for him.

I’d gone to like his UPW event, his date with destiny event. And then, I think I’ve been to UPW three times actually or twice and volunteered once and. At date with destiny. I had a conversation with him there, like a brief conversation. And then again, one day at church, I was sitting in my church.

I live in San Diego and I was like, there’s this like giant dude over there that looks like Tony Robbins. I was like, there’s no way this is Tony Robbins. Like I’m going to go sit behind him. And it was Tony Robbins. and I got to talk to him a little bit after church and it was mind blowing to me how present he is,

Casanova Brooks:

like with everything going on.

Stu Massengil:

he lives, he doesn’t live in San Diego, but he was there to do a podcast with the pasture. And he just happened to be there that one day. And it was like, it was crazy. So I got to meet him then as well. And so I’d met him those two times before. I never really had an in-depth conversation with him, but he just had a big impact on my life from going to some of his events that, I just, I just knew he was the person that I wanted to model.

Casanova Brooks:

Got it. And I think that’s a key takeaway is invest into the person that you want to model after. They might not have big seminars like UPW, but they have books. They have YouTube channels. They have a podcast, they have a website, they have social media. Be the person that will comment on every single one of their posts first, like turn on the notifications.

And right when it goes on, boom, I got to say, Oh my God, I love this. This is why it’s been so great. And I think that, I hope that somebody takes advantage of that. Now for you, as you’ve been speaking, over these last, how many years have you been, how many years have you been a speaker?

Let me ask first,

Stu Massengil:

I’d been a speaker since… for eight years.

Casanova Brooks:

Eight years. How many of those years have been with Tony?

Stu Massengil:

Just one year with Tony,

Casanova Brooks:

just one year with Tony over the last year that you have had with Tony, what has been your biggest aha moment and shifting your mindset? Because it’s one thing to watch it from the outside, but it’s another thing from the inside.

That’s been your biggest. Wow. Like this is, this is where I’m supposed to be in life. Has there been one profound thing?

Stu Massengil:

I think this may answer the question a little bit differently, but I think, there’s been so much growth so much. I’ve learned from doing this with Tony for a year, but one of the biggest things that I’ve gotten away from Tony, that he said in one of the discussions we had with the team, Was that success breeds, success and failure.

Can’t breed success. And sometime as an achiever or an entrepreneur, what we do is we have something we want to accomplish, and let’s say, the day didn’t go exactly how we wanted, or we did the podcast. Didn’t go exactly how we wanted. Or we had a business pitch. It didn’t go exactly the way we wanted something happens in our day.

And it doesn’t go exactly how we wanted. One thing didn’t go out wanted, but nine things went phenomenally. Now as an achiever, we may, we may go, I need 10 out of 10. Like that’s, that’s who I am. I need a 10 out of 10 and we focus so much on that. One thing that went wrong, that when we come into the next day, we’re now carrying failure into the next day.

And then you can’t build failure from you. Can’t build success from failure. So rather than that, at the end of the day, even if your day was god-awful, even if. Nine out of 10, things were bad in one thing was good. At the end of the day, what I’ve learned to do is go, what are three things that I just crushed it out today?

What were three things I did phenomenal could be with work. It could be with business. It could be with the relationship. It could be with my health. But what are three things that I could take at the end of the day and go, man, I just dominated this today. And then you carry that into the next day.

And that allows you to build success on success. I think that’s one of the biggest things I’ve taken away.

Casanova Brooks:

Yeah, I think that’s, that’s huge. And they say, if it won’t matter five years from now, don’t let it matter. Five minutes from now . And so I think the point that you bring up is just, you have to make sure that you’re focusing on.

What are the positive things that you can take from your day? Because we all have something that went well. but we normally don’t focus on it. And here’s the quote. I found it just for anybody that’s listening or watching. I don’t want to leave you hanging it. It says too often, we love people who don’t love us, but we failed to return the love of others who do.

And so what that means is we always have, we just don’t recognize there’s people in our corner, there’s things that are going right. But we minimize those things so we can then focus on. And if we could just shift that, we’d be so much better off

today.

Stu Massengil:

Huge change. Yeah.

Casanova Brooks:

Huge game changer. Let me ask for you, as you have had this amazing journey over the last eight years, if you can look back on one thing that you wish that you would have implemented sooner to speed up the process of achieving your dream, there’s just one thing.

What would it have been? What would you have implemented sooner?

Stu Massengil:

so I would, I would take it back before the eight years if that’s okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool. So about eight years ago, maybe seven years ago, I had a shift. I had a mentor and. I, I would, this mentor was phenomenal. I was Mo I was like, I’m going to model him.

I’m going to say what he says, do what he does. He goes to the bathroom, I’m going to the bathroom. I was like, I’m doing everything he does, because if I just copy him, I will therefore get the same result. And what started to happen as I started to follow around is we were at a conference one time.

And I noticed we would walk around the conference room and all of a sudden someone come to him, his name was Jed and they would go Oh my God, Jed, it’s so incredible to see you. I love you. I’ve missed you. Oh my God, how are you? They would give him a big hug. And I was like, Oh, that was like, cool.

It must’ve been like his best friend from high school or something. They like really loved him. And then we’d walk in and another two minutes another person would do the same thing. They’re like, Oh my God, Jett. I love you. You’re incredible. And then two minutes later, same, it happened like a dozen times.

And I was like, what? what is going on? This is unfreaking real right. But I was like, I want people to talk to me that way. And something snapped in my head at that moment that for the first time in my life, and it was just a shift in my thinking, I realized that there was nothing that Jed was born with that made him a good communicator.

There was nothing that like the doctor didn’t have babies and he goes, Oh, held the baby. And he goes, Oh, this baby’s going to be a great communicator. And now this baby is going to be shy and quiet, introverted. there was nothing like that that ever happened. Jed just had picked up and learned skills throughout his life that made him an incredible communicator.

And they were learned skills. And like for the first time in my life, I went. Holy crap. Like I can learn these skills. I can become just as good of a communicator, if not a, even better one if I wanted to, but I can learn these skills. And from that shift in my life, at that moment, the last seven years of my life have just been, an exponential growth, exponential growth, Because of that shift of thinking. And I think if I could have taken that back to when I was just. Even younger than that. I think I learned that when I was 20, which is still relatively young to learn that up. But if I could learn that, even when I was younger, that that just because someone else has something doesn’t mean that they were born with that or everything can be learned.

And so I think that’s a big shift that if I could take that back even further or give that to someone else, I mean that changed my life. Yeah, in a massive way.

Casanova Brooks:

That’s, that’s critical. I just had my son, my son plays a lot of basketball, but I just had his little buddy over and, long story short, they were trying, he lives across the street, but.

They were trying to play basketball and his buddy was trying to do left-hand layups. And he says, Oh man, I’m so bad at left-hand layups. I’m so bad at this. And I said, no, you’re not bad. You’re just untrained. That’s the only difference. nobody is born knowing how to do leftovers and right-handed layups when you get to the NBA.

Yeah. It looks all easy to understand that they’ve been training on this for 15, 20 somebody years. So I, I love that you brought that part up, and I think that anybody can really. Look at whoever it is that you’re modeling and say, listen, there comes a time when your idol can become your rival.

But what that means and in the truest, like positive way, but what that just means is you got to train even harder. You learn what you need to learn, but then you put your own spin on it. And there’s always going to be innovation. So I love that you brought that porn up for anyone who’s listening at this, and they’re super inspired by your journey.

They love all the knowledge and the wisdom that you’ve given off. but they have that little voice in their head and that little voice says that they’re not strong enough. They’re not smart enough. Or maybe they just don’t have enough resources. What’s the one thing that you would say to that person to get them to just take action.

Stu Massengil:

Yeah. to take action. So I have two things I’m going to give them if that’s cool. Yeah. So the first is an internal exercise and the second one will be an external. So the first one is basically like a visualizing process and this is something takes. Three minutes. So if you go, I don’t have three minutes, you don’t have a fricking life, right?

So it takes three minutes. And all I want you to do is you’ll close your eyes. If you want, you can put on some music. I put on this music in the background, it’s called Devi prayer. D E V I prayer. and it’s just like a him. And then all I want you to do is literally imagine your head as a file cabinet.

And imagined thoughts of, I can’t do this. I’m not good enough, whatever those negative thoughts, literally imagine them being pulled out of the cabinet file and being thrown away, and then imagine taking these positive, empowering beliefs, and then putting them now in your file cabinet, which is your head and just visualize that.

And as you visualize that, you’ll notice a shift now after day one, is it going to change your life? Probably not. You may go throughout the rest of that and you go, wow, that exercise didn’t do crap. I still feel all this negative stuff, but the thing is, as you do this over and over and over for a week, a month, Multiple months, you’re going to start to notice that you literally, from a neuroscience, stance, you’re literally rewiring your brain. So I would say that’s number one and number two, and this was. Something that for me, is the reason I’m here is the reason I’m a national speaker for Tony. Robbins is again going back eight years ago.

When I really started the journey of like deep entrepreneurship, I had the biggest fear of my life was public speaking. and for most people it’s a big fear. I didn’t want to do it. It scared the heck out of me. I was like, not, that was just not my thing. And I didn’t ever want to look.

And when I got clean with the business, I was in that you either get good at public speaking or you don’t when you don’t succeed. And so I had such a drive to succeed. I really wanted to, that I got over my fear, but the way I got over my fear was from a saying, my mentor taught me. And it was that a shitty plan today.

Is better than a perfect plan tomorrow. Cause tomorrow doesn’t exist. So sometimes we get so caught up in, I need to do it the right way. I need to do it the perfect way. I need to have everything figured out before I could do it. The simple question that I would just ask you on how you can execute is ask yourself, what is your shitty plan?

Like what’s your shitty plan, right? And if you can find out what that is, Then when you execute on it, you, you don’t need to worry about if it goes well or not at all, because it’s a shitty plan. It’s literally not a good plan. And it’s not that it’s not a good plan. But the ideology and the wording of using a shitty plan.

Allows your brain to go, Oh, if it doesn’t work out well, it’s a shitty plan anyways. So that’s really what I would ask for. So what’s your shitty plan and then just take action on that. And you’re going to notice that it may not be the best action ever right away, but as you keep executing on this shitty action, eventually it gets better and better and better.

And then you’ll turn out to be phenomenal. For me, that was public speaking, right? The first ever public speaking, I did, I had a note card in my pocket. I think there was five people in the audience. It was about a piss myself halfway through my speech. I pulled out the note card and literally started reading it because I had, I forgot what I was gonna say.

and I did that over and over and over. And eventually it led to speaking in stages in front of a thousand people, 5,000, 10,000 now I, speak for Tony, all over the country. But it was because I had a shitty plan. So I would just say, figure out your shitty plan and take a step.

Casanova Brooks:

Man, this has been a phenomenal conversation and I wouldn’t be the first one to kick off the thank you chain, my brother, for anybody who wants to stay connected with you.

Tell me, tell us where can we find you at.

Stu Massengil:

Yeah, I would say the best way to stay connected. first and foremost probably is our podcast. It’s called finding direction. And it’s all about just figuring out what you want to do with your life, Strategies and how to do that. so it’s finding direction on all platforms.

And then secondly, if you want to get in touch on a one-on-one basis, on Instagram is probably the best way it’s just Stu Massengill it’s S T U M A S S E N G I L L. And honestly just shoot me a DM. I would love to connect and support in any way that I can.

Casanova Brooks:

Absolutely. again, DreamNation, just as he, as just as my man said, you have to take action.

Even if it is with a shitty plan, we all start off with shitty plans. but if you don’t take that action, it will only merely be a fantasy. That’s all we got for this one. We’ll catch you on the next one.

 

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